How to Make a Telemarketer Go Away

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy? " 

2. If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card. 

3. If they start out with, "How are you today? " say, "Why do you want to know? " Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.... " When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems. 

4. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary. 

5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and I'm with Dodger & Peck Services.... You: "Hang on a second. " (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing? " 

6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN? " Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from. 

7. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up. 

8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend? " 

9. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too? " 

10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating. " Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger. 

11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Widget & Associates. " You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from? " Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas. " You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya. " 

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel. " (smiling, of course...)"

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Riddles are exciting and it helps one to develop his/her thinking. Some riddles are hard while others are not, but the exciting thing about riddles is that it is nice and interesting. This article has most of the brain cracking riddles and answers that would make you think twice. Read on and be ready to be amazed.

 

1. Imagine you're in a ship and you're attacked by dragons and dangerous sea creatures, what will you do?

Answer - You stop imagining

2. I am first one earth, second in heaven and in the middle of a sea, what am i?

Answer - Letter E

3. This five letters word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it. What is the word?

Answer - Short

4. Which word is spelled wrong in all the dictionaries?

Answer - Wrong

5. A plane heading to Australia crashed and landed in a sea, where will the survivors be buried?

Answer - They won't be buried because they are survivors (not dead)

6. Four men were fishing in a boat on the lake. The boat turned over and all four men sank to the bottom of the lake. And yet, not one single man got wet. How can that be?

Answer - All the men were married (they were not single)

7. What can you hold in your right hand but not in your left?

Answer - Left hand

8. Many have heard me, but no one has seen me, and i will not speak back until spoken to. What am i?

Answer - An echo

9. What has four fingers and one thumb, but isn't alive?

Answer - A glove

10. What begins with an 'E' and ends with an 'E' bit only has one letter?

Answer - And envelope

11. You can hold it without using your hands or your arms. What is it?

Answer - Your breath

12. I’m where yesterday follows today and tomorrow’s in the middle. What am I? 

Answer - Dictionary 

13. What day would yesterday be if Thursday was four days before the day after tommorow?

Answer - Friday

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