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Andrex 2 yrs 9
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Andrex
1. A Lecturer Walked Into A Class Room And Told All The Students That There Will Be An Emergency Tes...
~2.4 mins read
1. A lecturer walked into a class room and told all the students that there will be an emergency test. She went straight to the black board and wrote the instructions which says:
1) Time is 15mins
2) No copying
3) No cancellation of answers
4) Once it's time walk away from your desk. She told the students to get ready... that it will a test of just two simple questions.
1) List four of your best foods. Immediately students started writing. Boys were writing Eba, pounded yam,rice, beans, fufu etc. The girls were busy writing Chicken Chasseur, lasagna, sushi, pizza, shawarma, burger, red velvet cake, vanilla ice cream etc. All the ladies were happy until they saw the final question
2) Explain how to prepare your favourite meal as listed in question 1. See girls and cancellation. They cancelled all their first answer and started changing it to: yam, beans, white rice, egg, tea, akamu, indomie, dodo e.t.c. I was surprised when somebody wrote hot water.
Hahahahaha Ladies you guys are too much...π
Abeg don't ask me the name of the school ooo
2. Nollywood has finally finished my lΔ«fe, how can you beat someone with pillow and the eyes swell up, when you get to the hospital they bandage the leg. π€·
3. Some people are born with wΔ«ckedness how can I beg you for hotspot and you tell me you have deleted it.
4. I asked my neighbour for iron, he said i should use it in his room. Few days later. He asked for my broom and i told him to use it in my room.π it is a pay back something.
5. Owerri Boys be like "My name is Ramanus Ikechukwu Peter" But my friends call me R.Δͺ.Pπ€£
6. When your girl friend from the village finally visits you, and then enters the shower with an umbrella.π€£
7. The other day I saw two blΔ«nd people fighting, I shouted "I'm supporting the one with the knife!"
They both ran away. π€£
8. If you're crushing on me say it now oh. Not when u see my pre-wedding shoot you will be shouting his wife is not fine self, and you will start zooming her picture to know how many ribs she has. π€
9. Lost 50k this morning tied with a yellow rubber band, don't even know how it happened. My problem is not even the 50k but the rubber band I borrowed frorm my neighbor to tie the money.
10. You brΕke up with a guy in ur street then date another one in your street and you say you have moved on? My sister, you are just moving around.π€
11. Why do Nigerians, hΔte saying their name when knocking on the door
"knocks. Who be that?"
Na me!
Who na? ?
"Na me na."
Who do us bikonu?π
Oya GoodnightπΆ
Follow my profile below if I made you laugh and put me on your Favourite. It's very important π€².
#TheSD
Follow My Profileπ
If you haven't followed my profile below, that means you are missing alot, those who are already following the profile will testify. Abi You don't want to testify? Follow the profile below for more abeg.
FOLLOW π Andrex
Andrex 2 yrs 5
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Andrex
ππ JOKES THAT TOUCH ππ
ππ»πππ₯₯π₯π₯¬π½ππΈπ·π...
~1.8 mins read
ππ JOKES THAT TOUCH ππ
ππ»πππ₯₯π₯π₯¬π½ππΈπ·π
1.Dis morning i feel like eating fried
rice,assorted
chicken and salad, but my wallet was
showing me
akara,bread and akamu.
π€π€π€π€π€π€π€
2.Going to the toilet with your phone has to be regarded as one of the grΒ£atest trΓ p$ in life. You can spend 2 days in the toilet without knowing a second had moved. ππ€£π€€π
3.Dear GOD IF NA BUTTER GO DELAY MY DAILY BREADπBRING AM I GET BEANSππππ
Baba do am quick oooπππ
4.I was standing outside my house ποΈ looking for an available bike when two kids ran to me(a girl and a boy), the girl asked me, "can a sΔ«x year old girl get pregnant" and I said NO, the boy now said, "you s££, I told yΓ²ΓΉ, oya lets gΓ² and cΓ²ntΓ¬nuΒ£.*
And I shouted "còntìnu⬠what..."
ππππ¨π½ββ
1110ΒΉΒΉ0 ππ
5.On the 1st of April , I ran
into a barrack shouting thief
thief thief... the soldiers came out
gallantly looking for the thief... so
I told them it April fool ....
..I will
continue the story wen dey
discharge me from hospital
It been two months nowπππ
ππππππ I need your prayer for quick recovery
6.If you have ever put one meat π under, and cover it with rice π then put another meat π on top π gather here we get meeting.πππ€£
Pls ππ
7. My gΓ¬rlfrì£nd dΓΉmp$d me becos of a guy she fΓ²ΓΉnd onlineπππwhich happens to be meπππcan't wait to meet her tomorrowππππ
8. Stop zooming my picture every time my neck dey pain meπ₯ππ€£
9. You will tell somebody you dont have money and they say "fine boy like you" please do they pay fine boy in Nigeria? π€
10. If you still live in peace with your landlord, you'll not see the need to build your own house... Quarrel with that man today....π π
π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
Digest this one for now, More are still coming don't forget to follow my profile to get notifications when I posted.
Love you allβ£οΈ
To see my future posts, clicking the "Follow" button on my profile to see more hilarious ππ jokes and interesting πstories everyday. May God bless you as you follow me for more
Click to Open my profile π Andrex
Andrex 2 yrs 16
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Andrex
Wetin JΔalousy Don Do Me Eehn.... ...
~1.2 mins read
Wetin JΔalousy don do me eehn....
I called my home to check on my wife. And the servant picked the phone.
SERVANT: Hello
ME: Hello Where's your madam?
SERVANT: She is the bedroom with her husband.
ME: FΕΕl, I'm her husband!
SERVANT: Oh! sorry sir, I didn't recognize your voice, then who is the other man in bedroom with her?
ME: How will I know? Listen! I want you to do me a favour.
SERVANT: What sir?
ME: KΔ«ll the man and my traitor wife!!
SERVANT: Ok sir
The faithful servant followed my orders and called back.
SERVANT: sir, I kΔ«lled them. What shall I do with their bodies?
ME: DrΕwn them in the swimming pool behind our house.
SERVANT: But sir we don't have any swimming pool behind our house.....
ME: Wait a minute, Is this not house No 3725
SERVANT: No sir, its 3752.
ME: Ooops! Sorry oo, wrong Number
"I hangs up" πΆ ........β
If you aren't following me already, Tap and Follow my profile below if I made you laugh. It's very important oπ€².
#TheSD
Follow My Profileπ
If you haven't followed my profile below, that means you are missing alot, those who are already following the profile will testify. Abi You don't want to testify? Follow the profile below for more abeg.
FOLLOW π Andrex
Andrex 2 yrs 8
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Andrex
LAUGH WITH KELVIN...
~1.7 mins read
LAUGH WITH KELVIN
1. Short people Biko stay indoor from now till July, King Herod have started killing small children again...don't say I didn't tell u ooπ²π²ππππππππ
2. After my first heartbreak I stopped talking to my mum for 3 days when she asked what's wrong? I said "U girls are all the same"π²π²π²π€·π€·π€·π€·π€·
3. My brothers, feel free to wear a boxer for 1 week!!!
Merlin wore 1 trouser from season 1-5 and nothing happened.
Am I communicating???π€π€π€ππππ
4. Some people think break up hurts... have you ever left your phone on charge for 3 hours and u came back to find out it was not charging..π€π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯ππππ
5. Sometimes you have to stop blaming the photographer and just accept the fact that you're uglyπ€¦π€¦π€¦π€¦πΆπΆπΆπΆ
6. Some Girls are funny, They will tell a Guy that
"It's over between us."
When the Guy says, "Okay"
She will be like "Just Like that?"
What were you expecting?
Closing ceremony or Vote of Thanks??π€·π€·π€·ππππ
7. A prostitute asked a doctor why her pubic hair was not growing.
Doctor said have u seen grass growing at a busy street? Oh fada lawdπ²π²ππππ
8. DO U ALL REMEMBER THOSE DAYS WHEN WE USE TO ENTERTAIN VISITORS WITH PHOTO ALBUM..
NOW All THEY WANT IS CHARGER.πππππππππ
9. Just imagine you want to send ur nude pics to someone and you mistakenly post it to ur status then boom your battery went down...oh fada lawd take my soulππππππ
10. Someone cannot just dial wrong number in Nigeria and a politician or celebrity will pick it, must it always be aboki??π€π€π€·π€·π€·π€·
11. Some girls only know how to pose in pictures... But let them cook beans for u. Aaaaaah! U will see all the stones David used on Goliath. Tah!! Who stone meπππππ
12. I have made so many mistakes in my life but u see fighting in a place where nobody can separate us...ππππ²π²
I won't try itπ
π
π
π
13.I try my best to make you laugh and you want to go without adding me as your Facebook friend
Is not good at all.
Is it that i am not trying or whatπ₯Ί
Please i beg you
Click πAndrex
Go to my profile and click on Add friend
God bless you as you do so dear.
Andrex 2 yrs 9
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Andrex
About 15 Years Ago, I Was A Very Brilliant And Serious Student,....
~0.8 mins read
About 15 years ago, I was a very brilliant and serious student,.
One day, I went on a camping trip with my dad, we were all told to come with our fathers and we did.
During the camp π me and my dad set up a tent and fell asleep inside.
Some hours later, my dad woke up and then woke me up.
DAD: Look up to the sky and tell me what you see...
ME: I see millions of stars..
DAD: And what does that tell you?
ME: (Me smiling, thinking it's time to impress him) "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets and also..."
Not allowing me to finish he landed me a heavy slap and said...
"Fππl, that tells you that someone has stolen our tent that's why we can see the sky, id*ot"!!!
πͺ ππ€¦πΎββοΈπ€΅πΎ ππ
Cutie π₯°, please add this profiles for more interesting jokes ππ Andrex
God bless you abundantly π₯°π
Andrex 2 yrs 31
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Andrex
A Real Woman Will Never Apologise To Her Guy..instead She Will Sleep NΓ€ked By The Guy's Side, Then ...
~1.9 mins read
A Real woman will never apologise to her guy..instead she will sleep nΓ€ked by the guy's side, then leave him to do the apology himself*
.ππ
Nigerian parents be like
remind me to buy u cane before we go home.
Am I mad??ππ
.
A nurse lost her cat in a hospital..she asked: Any one got a pussy?*
*All the woman stood up.*
*No I meant has any one seen a pussy?.All the men stood up.*
*No No Noβ¦ she said βI meant has any one seen my pussyβ?*
*All the doctors stood up*
.
I wonder why some girls will stop in the middle of a Hot Romance Just to ask, SO DO U REALLY LOVE ME???
My sister what answer do u expect from a hΓΈrny guy??
.
Are you feeling neglected or abandoned?
Do you want your friends to always have
you in their heart and constantly stay in
touch? Borrow money from all of them and
travel!!!*
.
My Sunday school teachers never told me I was ugly.*
They waited until it was time for church drama, then they made me Satan!
.
Girls why
This morning I was getting ready to go out and I put my hand into my trouser and found 2k and I was happy. I went out, two girls I knew came to meet me, rub my head and my pot belly small and I went home with just 150
.
Guys, please be careful about what you buy online especially on black Friday.
If you buy stuff online please check out the seller very carefully.
Bob from another group just lostππ #24,500 on a Pen!s Enlarger.
The bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
The only instructions that came along with it were "DO NOT USE IN SUNLIGHT"
.
A police man went to suya joint and kept staring at a roast chicken,the man selling the suya noticed this and asked the police man if he wanted some ,
the police man then replied sharrap! i'm arresting this chicken for immoral dressing
.
Nigerian police and their wahala...
They will stop you on Lau road n be like
1. Why is your laptop bag empty, you want to steal a laptop and keep it in the bag Abi? Oya enter motor.π€£
Please Cutie π₯° add this profiles for more interesting jokes ππ Andrex
God bless you abundantly π₯°π
